A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hello Doctor, please come on over here for a minute.” The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic stood. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doctor, look at this here. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ‘em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come you get the really big money when you and I are doing basically the same work?” The doctor smiled, leaned over and whispered to the mechanic and said, “Try doing it with the engine running!”"

Contributed by Rosy

Three older ladies were discussing the trials of getting older. One said, 'Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.' The second lady chimed in, 'Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.' The third one responded, 'Well, I'm sure glad I don't have that problem, knock on wood.' She raps her knuckles on the table, then she, says, "That must be the door, I'll get it.'"

Contributed by Vineeta Sharma

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!" "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...""

Contributed by Rohit Gangwal